Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
