Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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