Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
