worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
