You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
