what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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