i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize