You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
