chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
