Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
