So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
