Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
