Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
