Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Who died my cat blue again?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
