I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
