I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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