Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize