bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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