other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
