i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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