You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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