They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
