Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize