My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
