so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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