wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize