uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
