he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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