You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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