And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
