he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
