she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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