I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
