You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
