people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
