Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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