i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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