I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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