I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dicks are not precious.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
