Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
