WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
