woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
