So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
