I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
