you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I checked into jail on foursquare
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
