Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There's always time for handjobs
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
