she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
