i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
