this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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