What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
