You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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