i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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