I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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