Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
