this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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