if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
