Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
