you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
