Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
