Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
