he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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