he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
