Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
