When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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