He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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