We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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