I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
