Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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