I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
