I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
